The group of judges surrounding the Alleister Crowley Block were waiting on a grim deadline. At midnight Judge Death would arrive for a final confrontation with Judge Dredd that could determine the fate of the hundreds of millions of souls in Mega City One and possibly the teeming billions inhabiting the rest of the world. There could be no more deadly serious occasion.

“So, Dredd what did Judge Death say to his dentist during his annual checkup?”

Dredd’s helmet slowly rotated 32 ½ degrees so that he was staring at Judge Anderson with a look that had caused hardened killers to throw down their weapons and surrender.

“Your punishment is my breath!” She looked disappointed with his stony expression. “Aww come on, all the guys at Psi Division thought that was funny. What’s your problem?”

“My punishment is your jokes.” Dredd muttered under his breath.

“What? Did you just crack funny Dredd? Did hell freeze over?”

“The law is not a joking matter Judge Anderson. Is this the citizen that has volunteered for your plan?”

“That he is. Judge Dredd meet Larry the body parts pirate.”

Larry was visibly nervous as the notorious Judge Dredd inspected him from head to toe. “Citizen your sacrifice is … admirable.”

“Thank. Thank you, Judge Dredd.”

“Don’t be maudlin citizen.”

Dredd checked the time and mounted his Lawmaster motorcycle. “Make sure you’re in position at the right time citizen.” He slowly cruised his bike toward the front entrance of the Alleister Crowly Block and parked it.

He left the motorcycle behind and entered the building on foot. The deal had been for Dredd to face Judge Death mano el mano and that’s what he was going to get.

At the stroke of midnight, the temperature dropped and tendrils of black smoke started to creep across the floor. “Judge Dredd, Death is here to welcome you with open arms.”

“No thanks creep. I’ve never been a hugger.”

Dredd sprinted across the atrium and entered a stairway that led to the many levels of basement for the block. He had memorized the schematics for the block and intended to keep moving and stay a step ahead of his enemy.

“Running Dredd? You can’t run from Death. You should know better than that.”

The smoke around Dredd started to thin and he knew from past encounters with him that meant Judge Death was manifesting into the solid form of his host’s body. He drew his lawgiver without breaking a stride and fired two unaimed shots behind him.

“Arghh! How did you do that you meat puppet!?”

Dredd felt a grim satisfaction with Death’s anger and confusion. The boys in the tech division had modified the standard heat-seeking bullets so they homed in on the smell of brimstone instead. The bullets wouldn’t seriously damage Death but they would slow him down and annoy him.

He ran into an elevator and spun around to see Death closing in on him. His skeletal hands stretched toward him, eager to deliver Judge Death’s fatal touch.

“High explosive.” Dredd snapped. His lawgiver recognized his voice and automatically changed the type of ammunition loaded. Three explosive shells slammed into the concrete beam just ahead of Judge Death and a chunk of debris knocked the helmet off the undead judge.

Dredd frowned with disapproval as he punched in the floor he wanted. “You’re out of uniform Judge Death. We expect judges to maintain a proper dress code in this dimension.”

The elevator whisked him upwards before he heard Judge Death’s reply but he could tell the decomposing creep didn’t sound happy.

He stepped out on the fourth floor and disabled the elevator. There was only one exit that Death could use now and Dredd aimed his Lawgiver at the corridor and waited.

He could see movement in the exit corridor but then the railing he was hiding behind exploded and the shock wave sent him flying.

“Remember that I promised you a surprise Dredd?” Death’s rattling whisper echoed around the block. “You have your Lawgiver but this time I’ve brought my Deathgiver from my own dimension!”

Judge Death walked into the middle of the atrium with a long black rifle covered with glowing sigils of arcane power. He raised the rifle and sent a volley of shells toward the fourth floor.

Dredd was already in the stairwell and heading toward the third floor. He had hoped Death’s surprise would be another one of the Dark Judges trying to ambush him. He hadn’t been worried about it because the other Dark Judges were lightweights compared to Death. This was bad.

“Ricochet” He instructed his gun and popped his head over the railing of the third floor. He snapped off a couple of shots at the feet of his adversary. One of the bullets took a lucky bounce and shattered Judge Death’s codpiece.

“You’ll pay for that Dredd you drokking dirty fighter!”

Dredd wasn’t impressed with the level of training for the dark dimension judges. Judge Death was standing like a statue in the middle of the atrium with his occult rifle. These clowns must have never heard of fire and movement. He decided he would have better chances at close range.

He smoothly changed magazines as he descended the stairway, exchanging the mixed ammo mag for a magazine of 100% incendiary. Dredd burst out of the exit low and fast. He went into a roll and fired a burst of three bullets that straddled his target.

Two of them missed but one hit Death in the upper chest. The dark judge was able to rip off the burning fabric of his uniform before the fire spread.

Dredd found out his opponent’s Deathgiver shared some characteristics of his Lawgiver when Death barked out a hoarse command to his weapon. “Life-seeking.”

“Drokk!” He was about to fire another burst at Judge Death but instead dove for a concrete pillar to try and avoid the life-seeking bullets that had just been fired at him. He curled around the pillar and reversed direction so must of the bullets hit the pillar but one homed in on his booted foot and shattered his ankle.

Dredd leaned around the pillar and returned fire. “Suck on this Death!”

Death jumped for the floor but one bullet his torso and another ricocheted off his helmet. Hitting the floor served to smother the fire the incendiary bullet had started.

Normally Judge Death would turn to smoke to avoid Dredd’s bullets but this time he was determined to finish off his organic adversary. He pointed his Deathgiver in Dredd’s general direction and shot off his entire supply of life-seeking bullets.

Dredd twisted and flopped like a landed fish to avoid the life-seekers but his destroyed ankle left him close to helpless. He grunted when a bullet thudded into his abdomen and snarled with rage when another bullet tore his shoulder joint apart and made him lose his grip on his gun.

Judge Death cackled his triumph and kicked Dredd’s Lawgiver away. He slung his rifle and glided toward Dredd with outstretched arms. “Finally! Judge Dredd your crime is life. Your sentence is … What the drokk is that?” He looked down at the small electronic device Dredd had tossed at his feet.

“That’s me cheating.”

“You can’t cheat Death!” The dark judge managed to scream before an incendiary missile tracking Dredd’s homing device entered the open entrance of the Alleister Crowley Block. It penetrated halfway through his chest before it ignited and he exploded in flames.

Dredd was a helpless spectator to events now and he watched Death leave his destroyed host body in a dense cloud of black smoke that streamed toward the entrance of the block to escape.

The smoke hesitated when it detected a terrified citizen that had entered the block. He moved to possess Larry the body parts pirate, unaware that Judge Anderson had used her psychic powers to subtly influence his decision.

Larry’s face turned grey and the flesh started to peel off his face in strips. Judge Death’s form burst through his chest and Larry’s skin peeled away like a garbage bag. The dark judge smiled a hideous smile of triumph that faded when he realized his transformation was strangely uncomplete.

There was a series of clicks and Judge Death’s cybernetic arms and legs fell off. He had time to yell, “You’re cheating again Dredd you spugging bag of flesh!” before his torso bounced off the hard floor.

Larry’s nickname was Limbless Larry and he was one of the many citizens of Mega City One that was a mutant because of the radiation that sometimes leaked into the city from the Cursed Earth. His lack of limbs was probably what led to his career as a body parts thief. He made a deal with Anderson to sacrifice himself as a trap for Death in exchange for a pardon for his son Leroy who was also serving a life sentence for stealing body parts.

Judge Death writhed like an enraged undead worm as he tried to turn over on his back. The dark judge was trying to turn back into smoke but something was wrong. He turned his head toward the block entrance and saw the orange haired woman that was keeping him imprisoned in this unsatisfactory host.

“You’re not going anywhere creep. Enjoy your new home.”

“Anderson! This time I will rip your mind apart.”

Anderson’s knees buckled and her eyes leaked tears of pain as Death launched his crushing psychic attack on her. She was driven to her hands and knees but still kept Death trapped in his host body.

“Hurry.” She begged the judges that were running past her toward the dark judge. The guns they carried were not standard law enforcement weapons but the stream of Boing they emitted was the only known material that could imprison Judge Death in a host body. The almost indestructible Boing solidified quickly and before long their target was in the middle of what looked like a large rubber ball.

Anderson shook off the effects of Death’s assault and walked past the thick cocoon of Boing encasing the dark judge. This time they would launch him into space so that he would hopefully float out of the solar system and be someone else’s problem.

She looked with concern at the large pool of blood Judge Dredd was lying in. “Is it bad Dredd?”

He finished digging the bullet out of his shoulder with his fingers and handed it to the medic that was treating his wounds.

“Not as bad as your jokes Anderson.”

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Halloween was the most popular holiday in Mega City One after Christmas. In the Alleister Crowley Block they liked to say Halloween was the only holiday. They observed Christmas by hanging a disemboweled effigy of Santa Claus from the top of the block.

Satanic Silas tripped over his feet as he entered the room and he adjusted the hood on his black robe so could see where he was going. “Have all the preparations for the ceremony been completed?” He demanded of his followers.

“Yes, dread lord.” They intoned except for the shortest cult member who shrilled. “I’m not finished yet.”

Silas flipped back his hood so she could feel the power of his glower. “How long is this going to take Demonic Debby? We’re supposed to do this thing on the stroke of midnight and we’ve only got three minutes to go.”

“These idiots keep stepping on my pentagram and smudging the chalk. I have to draw it all over again.”

“Calm down Debby. We do this every Halloween and we haven’t summoned a demon yet, no one has. So what if the pentagram isn’t complete. Take your place in the circle.”
A grumbling Debby joined hands with her fellow member of the Allister Crowley Block and they started to chant the first lines of the incantation.

Silas started to smell brimstone and he frowned at Beelzebub Betty who was notorious for her malodorous farts. He realized he couldn’t see Betty clearly because of smoke wafting through the room. “Hey this is cool. Who thought of bringing a smoke machine this year?”

It dawned on him that no one had brought a smoke machine when a tall emaciated figure stepped out of the smoke. The demon wore a gothic parody of a judge’s uniform. The large shoulder pads had been replaced by rows of human bones. Instead of a visor on the helmet, a rusted, blood-stained portcullis covered the top of its face.

The head behind the portcullis was a skull that still retained decayed scraps of flesh and frayed tendons of muscle. The jaw of the creature gaped open and it smiled with brown teeth that had surprisingly few cavities.

“The crime is life! The punishment is death!”

“Holy spuggin stomm! It’s Judge Death!”

“I told you I needed to redraw the pentagram.” Debbie complained right before Judge Death plunged his hand into her chest and pulled out her heart.

Silas tried to run away but tripped over his robe again to fall on his face. He rolled over and scooted away on his butt from the advancing Judge Death. The long thin arms resembled tentacles as they reached toward him.

“Mercy! Mercy! Please, I have goldfish that need feeding.”

A skeletal finger that ended in a curling talon pointed at his face. “You are the one that summoned me.” Its voice sounded like a hoarse death rattle. Its breath smelled worse than Betty’s farts. “I will grant you mercy.”

Tears of gratitude poured down Silas’ face until the long finger slid into his brain in a disturbingly sexual fashion.

“The greatest mercy of all is death!”

‘This guy has a one track mind.’ Silas was able to think before he couldn’t think anymore.

Judge Dredd parked his Lawmaster motorcycle on the superway ramp that overlooked the main entrance for the Allister Crowley Block. Psi Judge Anderson was waiting for him, easy to spot because of her distinctive orange hair.

Dredd’s customary scowl deepened. “You’re out of uniform Judge Anderson.”

Anderson laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. She had worked with Dredd before and wasn’t intimidated by his censorious manner.

“I’ll make a deal with you Dredd. I’ll wear my helmet if you take your helmet off.”

“Don’t be vulgar Anderson. How many casualties this time?”

“I think he’s already wiped out most of the block, so close to 15,000. I can’t read much activity over there except Death and I’m trying to stay away from him.”

Dredd surveyed the judges armed with flamethrowers surrounding the block. They had learned from painful experience that fire was the best way to destroy Judge Death’s host body. Unfortunately, once the host body was destroyed Judge Death would simply possess another body that was susceptible to his control. Psi Judge Anderson had once been possessed by Death and had been permanently damaged by the psychic scars that he had left on her mind.

“This is your plan, Anderson. Will you be ready by tomorrow night?”

“That should give me enough time. I just hope it works.”

“We’ve beaten Death before Judge Anderson and your contribution has always been instrumental.”

“Was that praise from you Judge Dredd? Tell me more.”

“Your need for constant validation is irritating Anderson.”

“Aww, I love you too Dredd. Why are you so gushy today?”

Judge Dredd answered by gunning the throttle on his motorcycle and taking the exit for the block where Death was waiting for him.

He lowered the speed of his Lawmaster to climb the stairs like a ramp and then hit air in a trajectory toward the front entrance of the Allister Crowley Block. As soon as he landed and his suspension settled, he sprayed the doors with explosive bullets from the heavy machine guns on his vehicle. He ducked behind the thick, bulletproof windscreen as he drove through a cloud of metal and glass shrapnel.

He coasted the bike into the middle of the atrium of the building and came to a stop. There were bodies everywhere that had the soulless, terrified expressions that were Judge Death’s calling cards.

The temperature dropped a few degrees and Dredd knew he had attracted Judge Death’s attention. “Dredd what a pleasant surprise. You’ve saved me the trouble of searching for you so I can finally kill you.”

Normally Dredd could use the radar and thermal scans on his bike to locate criminals but they were useless with a charmer like Judge Death. He had to rely on his own eyes and ears.

Dredd slid off his bike and drew his Lawgiver in one smooth motion as he checked the perimeter for his undead nemesis. “Judge Death, I am here to charge you with multiple criminal violations.”

“The pathetic laws of your dimension mean nothing to me Dredd. In my world murder is not a crime. It is the punishment for the crime of life.”

“I’m not talking about murder.” He pointed at the bodies strewn across the floor of the atrium. “Are you telling me that your dimension doesn’t have laws that prohibit littering?”

“Well, yes we do.” Judge Death paused as if he was embarrassed. “Look, I’m sorry about that. I usually have Judge Fire with me to clean up the mess.”

Judge Dredd spotted Death on one of the higher levels of the block and pointed his gun at him. “You’re a disgrace to your uniform Judge Death, breaking your own laws like a common criminal. You’re a bent Judge!” He knew Death was too far away for accurate fire but he squeezed off a couple of shots to keep the dark judge on his toes.

“Sacrilege!” Judge Death turned into smoke before Dredd’s bullets could hit their mark. “I won’t be lectured by a sack of flesh. Your life is the greater crime Dredd and I am here to deliver your punishment.”

“You’ve tried before and failed every time you leaking bag of stomm.” Dredd shouted back as he warily scanned the interior of the block for signs of his opponent. Death had always been his most dangerous enemy and he knew could only temporarily thwart the paranormal judge. Death could never be completely beaten.

“I’m here to make a deal with you.”

“You seek to make a deal with Death?” Dredd spun around as the temperature dropped but there was only black smoke drifting around him. “Death doesn’t make any deals with life. I’m here to end it.”

“Every time I’ve driven you out of Mega City One it’s because I’ve had help from Judge Anderson and the other judges. I’ll bet you think you could finally beat me if we fought it out mano el mano.”

“I know I can.” Judge Death’s voice sounded both interested and eager.

“Tomorrow night at midnight. You and me right here in Allister Crowley Block. I’ll kick your undead ass.”

“What’s to stop me from killing you right now?”

“They are.” Judge Dredd jerked his thumb toward the six judges with flamethrowers that had followed him inside. They were under orders to incinerate Judge Death if he managed to kill Dredd.

Black smoke swirled around the atrium as the judges waited for Death to answer.

“I accept your deal Dredd but only because by tomorrow night I will have a little surprise ready for you. I hope you like surprises.”

The temperature rose as Judge Death departed. Dredd waved away the lingering smoke from his face. “What a creep.”

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I’ll post part 2 of ‘Death Comes to Town’ on Halloween. Load your Lawgivers!

“The blood is flowing and the tote board is glowing!” Look at the number of credits on the line for the new block war between the Iron Mike Tyson Block and the Evander Holyfield Block. These two blocks have a long history of warfare and when they go at it you can bet the action will be fast and furious.”

“I’m your host Block War Bobby and welcome to my show Mega City One Block Wars.”

Someone in city planning had been asleep at the switch when they allowed the Iron Mike Tyson Block to be established with a few kms of the Evander Holyfield Block. Perhaps they hadn’t known their boxing history but that kind of knowledge was crucial if you wanted to avoid tensions that could develop into a block war.

“Damn it citizen stop trying to eat his ear! You’re getting an extra two years for cannibalism.”

“I was only chewing. I swear I didn’t swallow.”

“Shut up criminal.” Judge Dredd snarled and knocked the man down with a swipe of his day stick. “Hit them with the stumm gas.” He shouted at a nearby hover truck.

Dredd lowered the respirator on his helmet and waded into the crowd of brawling citizens. Luckily there weren’t too many firearms involved in this block war. The Holyfields and the Tysons usually fought it out with their fists.

He spotted a couple of combatants equipped with masks and he tore them off as he waded through the crowd. Soon enough this group was down on the ground and their unconscious forms were being dumped into a truck for processing.

Dredd inspected the tunnel that a large group of residents from the Mike Tyson Block had used to launch a surprise attack on the Evander Holyfield Block. After the last block war all the roads between the two archrivals had been blockaded but the Iron Mikes had found an abandoned utility tunnel to use. The Mike Tyson Block wasn’t known for their clever tactics and Dredd suspected another player was at work here.

A young cadet came running down the road toward him. “Judge Dredd! We’re being flanked by the Betty Crocker Block. They’re right behind me.”

“Drokk it! Everyone on me and form a circle. Don’t pull your Lawmakers unless we’re overwhelmed.” This had just turned into a three-way block war and those nutbars from the Betty Crocker Block were the worst of the worst.

Dredd was leading a group of twenty judges and he watched hundreds of Betty Crockers come pouring down the road toward his small group. There were some firearms but the majority of the group were yielding the large wooden spoons they preferred to use as weapons.

He changed his mind when he assessed the tidal wave of violence-crazed Crockers about to submerge his small group. “Change of orders. Follow me. Run! Don’t get left behind.”

Dredd turned to his left and ran toward a small building on the side of the road. It wasn’t ideal for a defensive position but at least they would have a wall against their backs instead of being completely surrounded.

Dredd’s long legs left most of the other judges behind and he turned back when he saw the cadet judge fall. He was able to haul the cadet judge to his feet and pull him away from the flashing wooden spoons at their backs.

“Give it to them judges!” Dredd roared as he took a wooden spoon to the helmet and replied with a powerful blow from his day stick. “Let’s show these Betty Crockers what happens when they mix it up with Mega City Judges.”

The judges formed a semicircle with the concrete wall at their backs. The crowd of Betty Crocker were full of enthusiasm but lacked the training and equipment of the judges. A pile of concussed and bleeding citizens formed around the judges’ front line and they learned to avoid them. They flowed around the group of judges and sought easier opponents from the Tyson and Holyfield Blocks.

Soon there was only a group of stragglers trying to reach the block war and Dredd made another snap decision.

“Charge! Cut off those Betty Crockers and take them prisoner. Move, move, move!” Judge Dredd led the charge and lowered an oversized shoulder pad into the stomach of a plump Betty Crocker trying to jog past him.

The charge was successful and the exhausted judges took a breather as they waited for trucks to take away their prisoners.

Dredd noticed the cadet munching on a double chocolate brownie he had accepted from a Betty Crocker and slapped it out of his hand.

“Cadet! That’s the same thing as taking a bribe.”

The cadet looked mournfully at the remnants of his baked treat scattered across the street. “But it was so moist and delicious.”

Judge scowled with disapproval and resisted the temptation to give the young cadet a moist and delicious boot up his backside. “Pull yourself together cadet!”

“We are breaking records and then breaking those records again fight fans! We now have a three-way block war with those wild and crazy Betty Crockers jumping into the fray.”

“There’s a popular new betting category on the tote board for the number of dead by wooden spoon. The only other category that’s more popular is the betting on the number of Holyfields that get their ears bitten off by the Tysons.”

“Hold on fight fans! I just got word that yet another block has joined in. The Smurf Block has just attacked both the Tysons and the Holyfields. Holy Hannah we’ve got a four-way block war!”

“I’m gonna smurf you up judge!” A maniacal Smurfer screamed as he swung his metal club at Dredd.

“Smurf on this spugwit.” Dredd grunted and smashed his hobnailed boot into the Smurfer’s blue painted face. He scowled at the blue paint on his boot. He was very particular about his appearance.

He looked up from his boot to see yet another blue painted Smurf but this time an older one with a white beard. He was busy setting up a machine gun on a rooftop across the street. “Smurf them up Grandpa Smurf!” A group of fellow block members yelled in encouragement.

There was a loud groan of disappointment when Judge Dredd shot Grandpa Smurf between the eyes before he could chamber a round.

“Judges pull out your Lawmakers!” Dredd shouted to the other judges. “If they have a gun, shoot them dead. For any other weapons use leg shots.”

He had to shut this attack by the Smurfs down. If the Smurfs clashed with their hated rivals the Betty Crockers, the Duncan Hines Block might enter the war to support their allies in the Crocker Block. This block war was increasingly spiraling out of control.

What really bothered him was the suspicion that a foreign power like a Soviet Mega City was behind this block war. This was deliberately orchestrated by some outside force. How else could all these blocks have such large forces in place before the block war had even started?

There was little he could do about it while he tried to keep a lid on this four-way (so far) block war with his limited resources. He was still waiting on reinforcements from other sectors of Mega City One.

Some of the inbound reinforcements arrived when a hover truck landed beside Dredd and more judges spilled out onto the road.

A senior judge embarked from the vehicle and approached him. “I have news from Justice Central, Dredd. They want you to visit someone.”

“Welcome back from the commercial break and get your money ready for a brand new category on the tote board for the number of people that get smurfed by those cold blooded Smurf Blockers.”

Block War Bobby looked startled when he heard a message on his earpiece. “What are you talking about? We can’t. Oh hey! Look everybody we have a surprise guest tonight. Welcome to the show Judge Dredd.”

“Thanks Bobby, now shut the drokk up while I give a message to your viewers.” The camera zoomed in on what little could be seen of Dredd’s face underneath his battered helmet. His stubbled jaw clenched and a flash of white teeth could be seen as he snarled into people’s viewscreens.

“Residents of Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Betty Crocker and Smurf Blocks have one hour to cease hostilities and return to their blocks. Anybody still on the streets after one hour will be rounded up and exiled to the Cursed Earth.”

He looked away from the camera and turned his attention back to Bobby. “Now I have a message for you Block War Bobby. You are under arrest for inciting a four-way block war. The sentence is 80 years in an isolation cube.”

“Wha, wha, what?” Even Bobby’s heavy tan couldn’t hide the unhealthy pallor of his skin.

“Justice Central confirmed through signals that your show has been orchestrating this block war. This show is cancelled and so are you.”

“You can’t cancel my show! This is the most successful show in the history of television. I’m friends with the Chief Justice.”

Dredd had spent the last six hours in pitched battle with citizens from four different blocks and his short supply of patience had been exhausted a long time ago. He ripped out his Lawmaker and buried the barrel of the gun into the middle of Bobby’s forehead.

“Tote Board, add a betting category for the odds that I won’t shoot this pile of stomm in the next sixty seconds.”

Block War Bobby’s face turned an even whiter shade of pale as he watched his viewers lay down good money that the odds against his survival were over 100 to 1.

Some happy viewers hit the jackpot when Judge Dredd returned his Lawmaker to its holster. “Luckily for you citizen judges don’t gamble.”

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Judge Dredd 2025 #1

The judge was a veteran and had been patrolling the streets of Mega City One for over ten years. He could tell at a glance what had probably caused the near riot occurring in front of him but regardless he coasted his Lawmaster motorcycle to a stop before proceeding. He used the computer on his cycle to check the recent footage of this intersection and confirm his suspicions.

He turned on his siren and slowly drove through the crowd of spectators. The crowd hurriedly made way for him. It was either make way of be run over by the wide tires of the Lawmaster. Judges weren’t known for their patience.

The judge swung a leg over his cycle and confronted the two citizens clumsily trying to hurt each other. One citizen was a ‘Heavy’ and looked like he was close to the 1000 lb. bodyweight that would make him a member of the elite half ton club. The other person was a ‘Skinny’ and well under 100 lbs.

The Skinny was punching the Heavy as often as he could but with no more effect than exhausting himself. The Heavy was trying to hit the Skinny in return but was having trouble reaching or even seeing his tiny opponent.

“Citizens! You are breaking the law by engaging in an unsanctioned fight in a public space and you are obstructing traffic flow. Stand down or I will be forced to subdue you.”

The Skinny seemed relieved at the excuse to stop and catch his breath. The Heavy took advantage of the pause in action to finally give his antagonist a cuff on the back of the head that sent him flying.

The judge’s day stick was in his hand and he advanced on the Heavy. “Citizen, I told you to stand down.”

The Heavy’s face contorted in fear and he held his hands in the air. “I didn’t hear you. Don’t hit me! You can’t touch me. I know the law.”

The judge scowled and gritted his teeth as leaned into the Heavy’s face and prodded his ample abdomen with the day stick. “Citizen, the only thing you need to know about the law is that I’m Judge Dredd.” He slung his day stick and led the two citizens away. “I am the Law!”

Dredd read out the charges and sentences as he secured them to a nearby Justice Station for pick up. He glared at the Skinny through the opaque vizor on his helmet. “One count of assault when you slapped the feeding tray away from your victim. Ten counts of battery when you repeatedly punched the victim. Sentence is one year in an isolation cube.”

“He’s revolting! He’s disgusting! I couldn’t stand watching him shovel food in his mouth anymore. He offends my 0.8% bodyfat sensibilities.”

“Shut up citizen.” Judge Dredd turned to the Heavy. “One count of battery and one count of not following the orders of a judge. Sentence is two years in an isolation cube.”

“What the hell! You can’t do that. I’m the victim here. If anyone is repulsive it’s that little stickman that calls himself a human being. I fart bigger than him.”

Dredd walked back to his cycle and ignored the two citizens as they continued to yell at each other. Yelling at each other wasn’t against the law but maybe it should be.

He cruised away to enter the ramp leading to the superway but had to make a detour when he spotted another pair of citizens fighting and drawing a crowd. He stopped the fight by simply driving his large motorcycle between the combatants.

Dredd pointed to a Justice Station at the next street over and the two men meekly walked in that direction with the judge following on his Lawmaster.

He secured them to the station and consulted the street footage on his computer. “I hesitate to ask, but what is the reason for your conflict?”

“He spreads lies!” One of the men pointed an accusing finger at the other. “He said VHS is better than Beta when everyone knows Beta is the superior system.”

“You’re the liar! VHS was the better system with a better price.”

This was a new one to Dredd and he had to consult his computer to find out what these two perps were talking about. “You were fighting about competing video recording systems that have been obsolete for over a hundred years?”

“History is important and I know I’m on the right side. I’m a big man on the VHS block and we’re going to start a block war with the Beta block over this.”

“Go ahead and try. We’ll kick your ass and then scrap all your garbage VHS machines.”

The man from the VHS block gasped in horror.

Judge Dredd leaped off his cycle and approached the two citizens menacingly. The last thing Mega City One needed was another block war. “If a block war starts, you two will be the first ones I shoot even if you’re still in an isolation cube!”

The two men wisely fell silent and sat on the ground while they glared defiance at each other.

“The sentence is the same for both of you. One count of assault and battery. One count of trying to incite a block war. Three years in an isolation cube.”

Dredd paused and listened to his radio before remounting his motorcycle. An armed robbery had taken place less than a block from his location.

He found a break in traffic and thanks to the acceleration from his powerful bike he quickly arrived at the scene of the crime and could see a man and woman fleeing from the convenience store.

Dredd followed his intuition and rode up on the sidewalk. He placed a large judgemental boot on the rear end of each of the fleeing suspects to send them tumbling. The judge hoped he hadn’t just booted two innocent citizens. He hated to apologize.

“Crap! It’s a judge. We surrender. Look we didn’t even have a real gun. It was just a block of wood we carved in the shape of a gun.”

Dredd nodded and looked at the piece of wood that had been dropped on the sidewalk. It didn’t even look enough like a gun for an armed robbery offense.

A happy looking man came running out of the convenience store and was almost dancing with joy. “Thank the gods. Right in the nick of time. That’s my bag of money these lowlifes stole.”

Judge Dredd turned his attention to him and snapped his fingers then held out his hand. “I.D. citizen.” He checked the man was indeed the owner of the convenience store and then gestured for him to retrieve his money when he returned the I.D.

“That’s a lot of cash for a small convenience store.”

“Um well thank you, I guess. It’s mostly a cash business.”

“Business must be good citizen.”

The store owner swallowed nervously and bobbed his head before scurrying away.

Dredd stared at the man suspiciously for a moment before turning back to his prisoners. They were already waiting for him at a nearby Justice Station.

He grunted with approval and secured them. This would make six for the cubes in the first half hour of his shift. The staff at the Isolation Facility would probably lodge another complaint about him.

“One count of arm… Correction. One count of robbery each. Two years in an isolation cube.”

He settled himself comfortably on the saddle of his bike but then seemed to reconsider. Dredd looked again at the glum couple awaiting pickup from a Justice Van.

“Did you rob that convenience store because you had a grievance with the owner?”

The woman was startled by the question. “What? No, we had no money and he did.”

“Your sole motive was to steal money?”

“That’s right.”

“Hmm.” Dredd adjusted the gun holster on his calf. “Computer, remove six months from each sentence for good behaviour.”

The man laughed out loud with surprise. “That’s great. I don’t care what they say about you Dredd. You’re a nice guy.”

Dredd pointed a finger at him as if it were a gun. “Watch your filthy mouth citizen!”

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