Mr. Hyde’s eyes bulged and his face was in severe distress until he erupted with a massive eructation. He looked pleased with himself and his pride was justified because that was probably as close he came to verbal eloquence.
“Ahhh! That’s better! That one was a long time coming. I feel like I just gave birth to a little nipper.”
Adam took a step back and gagged. “What is that? It smells worse than a thunderbox.”
“Tripe pie my boy, tripe pie. The food of kings. I’ll take you to my pub where they bake it. You’re in for a rare treat Adam me lad.”
“Lucky me.”
“Moriarty, what are we waiting for anyway?” Hyde shouted loudly. “We don’t need Tepes. You got me and Adam doncha’?” He thumped a heavy hand on Adam’s chest. “There ain’t nothing the gruesome twosome can’t handle.”
“No Hyde, if we have overwhelming force then we should use it. The sun is almost down and Tepes will be here shortly. Griffin has done a reconnaissance of the castle and whatever is down in those catacombs is as dangerous as initial reports indicate.”
“Griffin!” Hyde scoffed. “He’d be scared of his own shadow if he could see it.”
Vlad’s shadow slithered across the ground to fall upon Hyde and his physical form followed behind it. “This time Griffin’s fear is justified Hyde. Whatever is in these catacombs doesn’t belong on this Earth. I have never sensed anything that feels so wrong.”
“What’s this Mr. Tepes?” Hyde said in mock surprise. “Even our resident vampire has lost his bottle? Well you just stand aside there little fella’ and let bonny Mr. Hyde take the lead this time.”
Vlad’s scowl turned into a smile as Hyde tried to step in front of him and proceed before him into the entrance for the catacombs. He looked up where Mr. Hyde’s boulder like head was aggressively grinning down at him.
“La Dracu, you’re a big milk cow of a man aren’t you Hyde. How tall are you anyway?”
“Close to eight feet, almost as tall as my mate Adam here.”
Vlad placed his small hand in the middle of Hyde’s chest and gently pushed him away so he was slammed violently into the stone wall.
“How would you like to be three feet shorter?”
Vlad disappeared into the dark entrance and was followed by a smiling Adam who patted Mr. Hyde on the head as he walked past.
The trio of Gothic Knights traveled into the catacombs for only a few moments before Tepes held up his hand to signal for them to stop. He felt a sense of wrongness that was foreign to him and he couldn’t shake the feeling he was leading them into a trap. He looked at the old fashioned torches his companions were carrying and frowned. It was pitch dark in the catacombs and his partners couldn’t see in the dark like him but he wanted them to have their hands free.
“Adam go back and get two hurricane lamps from Moriarty. If we encounter trouble you can put them on the floor and have your hands free but still have illumination.”
“All right then. I won’t be gone long.”
Vlad watched him go with a sense of relief. If they were to be attacked he would prefer that Adam be safely topside.
Hyde found a gap in the old stonework and forced the end of his torch into the niche. “Well, well, well. Here we are Mr. Tepes all cuddled up like two peas in a pod in the dark together. Very romantic this is. I’m starting to suspect that you might have arranged all this.” Hyde’s shrub-like eyebrow waggled suggestively.
“Spare me your verbal flatulence Hyde. I suggest we both practice the virtue of silence.”
“Not good enough for you am I?” Hyde complained with indignation. “Hold on now. I see the lay of the land. I’ve got some ‘royal competition.’ Good old Queen Vickie might have some snow on the roof but she’s still got a fire down below. Or should I be calling her Mrs. Tepes?”
“Hyde, I strongly suggest you shut your mouth.”
“I won’t stay mum when you’re having it on with the mom of the British empire. A little rumpy-pumpy with Rule Britannia. This is a right scandal this is. You’re, what, over four hundred years old and she’s a young maid barely in her seventies. Robbing the cradle! And think of the children Vladdy! They might be both vampires and whatcha’ call it hemofeelybacks. Think of how confused they’d be. Ha ha ha!”
Adam returned with a couple of hurricane lamps and looked around with confusion. “What happened to Mr. Hyde?”
Tepes stood up from where he’d been sitting on a stone ledge and brushed off the seat of his pants. “I’m not sure. He might be dead.”
“No, I’m not dead.” A faint, unsteady voice said. “But I’ve got a nasty focking headache thanks to you Tepes. Pull me out of here Adam.”
Adam frowned with disapproval at his mentor as he pulled Hyde free. “You put his head through the wall. What did he say this time?”
Tepes picked up one of the hurricane lamps and lit it from a torch. “It doesn’t bear repeating.”
Hyde staggered after Adam freed him and shook his head in a shower of dust and broken stone. “No idea what set him off this time Adam. We was just passing the time bragging about our sexual conquests.” He winced as he straightened out his broken nose and then gifted Vlad with a glowing smile full of chipped overgrown teeth.
“I swear to God Hyde!” Tepes snarled as he stalked away. “Next time I’ll shove your head up your ass!”
“Now, now, now Mr. Tepes. Stop getting me all hot and bothered with your sweet talk. I’m trying to keep me mind on the job!”
Mr. Hyde kept quiet as they proceeded deeper into the catacombs, probably because his head was pounding from the abuse his tell tale brain had endured. At least Tepes hadn’t broken his jaw this time.
The more deeply they descended, the worse condition the walls were in. They passed several branches that had partial collapses. The lamps began to have trouble pushing back the total darkness as if their flames were being starved of oxygen. The silence began to be broken by odd sounds that were in a frequency their ears could barely detect.
“Stop.” Vlad said quietly but the word still echoed down the passageway. He pointed at the roof. “Do you see how there are no cobwebs anymore? I can not hear rodents either, only that murmuring fading in and out. Do you two hear it as well?”
His eyes flicked toward them as they both nodded and then back to the dark corridor that stretched in front of them. “I don’t like this. There is nothing alive past this point. It is unnatural and so this that damned murmuring. Those are words of power, a corrupt, warped power. I don’t think that - Wait!”
Vlad cocked his head when he heard something Hyde and Adam couldn’t detect. “Beware!”
An winding, undulating form emerged out of the inky blackness pushing a wave of stale air in front of it. There was a cracking sound and a long greasy tentacle whipped out of the catacombs and looped around Tepes midsection.
“Futi-i!” Tepes swore loudly and was barely fast enough to get his arms out of the way before they were trapped by his sides. The tentacle tried to pull him back down the tunnel but the vampire was made of sterner stuff than its previous victims and he braced a foot against each side of the corridor and resisted. His feet dug ruts through the stone and dirt as a power even stronger than the centuries old vampire inexorably dragged him away.
Vlad grasped the end of the tentacle to unwind it and roared with surprised pain when he discovered its greasy appearance was the result of acidic fluids excreted through it’s pores. The acid burned even his undead skin but he maintained his grip despite the pain and managed to unwrap a coil.
Adam and Hyde ran up to help and he shouted out a warning about the acid. Adam ignored the warning and grabbed a coil with his enormous hands to help his mentor free himself, grunting with pain as his skin also began to smoke and burn.
They held the tentacle outstretched together as Mr. Hyde swung his clublike cane down with all his strength. A high pitched screech echoed down the catacombs that almost burst their eardrums and both Adam and Vlad released the wounded tentacle as they reflexively covered their ears in pain. The tentacle disappeared back from where it came as quickly as it had appeared and the high pitched screech was replaced by a low frequency chant that made their bones pulse with occult power.
Vlad looked down the tunnel into black so dark that it pulled the light out of his eyes. Once again he tilted his head as he heard something his companions couldn’t. “RUN!” He shouted and pushed Adam to safety ahead of himself as he took his own advice.
Three more tentacles came boiling out of the catacombs. The largest tentacle wound around Hyde’s torso, trapping his arms. Mr. Hyde had hesitated after Vlad’s shouted command, perhaps because he had never run from anything in his life. Another tentacle entwined itself between his legs and quickly trapped them in a mass of acid covered loops of flesh.
Vlad turned back after he ensured that Adam was safely running toward daylight. He evaded a tentacle that attempted to ensnare him by turning himself into an oily shadow that flowed across the floor toward a helpless Mr. Hyde.
Tepes had fought hundreds of battles against the Ottoman Empire as a mortal and against paranormal foes as a vampire. He didn’t win every battle but he always fought with ruthless ferocity and he always tried his best to never leave one of his own behind.
He didn’t hesitate as he materialized and sank his fangs into the tentacle entrapping Hyde and tore out a large chunk of flesh. He had tried to tear apart the first tentacle with his hands but it had resisted even his vampyric power. He couldn’t know if his fangs would penetrate but had decided to throw the dice.
The pain of the acid in his mouth was beyond physical but he ignored it because he didn’t have any time to be distracted. He spit out what acid he could while he forced his hands into the hole he had made and pulled.
The subsonic murmuring rose to a shout and words that didn’t belong on this world pounded into his skull like blows from a hammer. Vlad tried to scream back his defiance but could only manage a choking gurgle as acid ate away his mouth and throat. He continued to pull and tear until the tentacle ripped in half and showered him in yet more of the acid.
The catacombs tilted and turned upside down when there was a concussive shock from an implosion of power. A single arcane word boomed from the depths of the catacombs that charged the air with electricity.
Vlad grabbed Hyde’s arm and pulled him free of the tentacles that had all become lifeless and dropped to the ground in a flaccid tangle. They stumbled away together in the disorienting upside down down tunnel but stopped when the world turned upright and the tentacles rose from the floor again.
They ran, both of them smoking from acid burning both their clothes and their flesh. Hyde was obviously suffering from broken bones inflicted by the crushing tentacles and Vlad’s head seemed to be melting from the acid bath he’d suffered.
They ran, but the tentacles were faster and they could feel them touching their backs until a sudden avalanche of stone and dirt buried them.
Vlad used his hands to wipe acid off his scalp and face then looked up and nodded his thanks to Adam who had brought down an archway after his companions had run past.
“What is it?” Moriarty kept his eyes locked on the entrance of the catacombs. This subterranean menace had trounced three of the most powerful monsters on the planet and he was scared. “Is it some kind of demon?”
“No, it’s not from hell. I would know.” Vlad was able to speak in a scratching whisper as his mouth began to heal. He spit out some more acidic residue from his mouth and it bubbled and burned when it hit a rock. “It is not from this world. It is not from this existence.”
Tepes watched Adam help an unusually subdued Mr. Hyde put his shoulder back in its socket. “What was the name of the man who rented these lands?”
“It was an odd name. Lovecraft. Winfield Lovecraft.”
“Lovecraft, how inappropriate.” Vlad muttered and he peeled off the coat for his suit that was already falling to pieces from acid damage. “We will need to talk to him. We need better information.”
“I could get army engineers to blow this place sky high, bury it forever.”
“Tempting, but I don’t think it can be destroyed or imprisoned. We need to send it back where it came from.” He didn’t tell Moriarty that this squatter in the catacombs had tried to take over his mind as well as kill his body. It’s alien touch still lingered in his brain and it burned worse than the acid in his mouth.
“What should I tell the queen?”
“Tell the queen we shall plan, arm and armour ourselves.” He looked again at Adam and Hyde who were battered but whole, fearful but defiant. “Tell the queen I am Vlad Tepes the third and I will never stop fighting.”
Continued in ‘Cthulhu I Hardly Knew You’ (Gothic Knights #8)
Mr. Hyde Glossary
Hemofeelyback: Hemophiliac. Hemophilia was a genetic condition often called the bleeding disease. Queen Victoria was a carrier for hemophilia.
Rumpy-Pumpy: (Oh come on! Use your imagination.)
A little rumpy-pumpington, as the upstart crow says. Good stuff, Norm!
OK, I did not expect Cthulhu.